A shy violet keeps a library & information science scrapbook.
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Posts tagged mark twain
Apocryphal Mark Twain Quotations (He Never Said It)
“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
Originally said by Benjamin Disrael, attributed in Mark Twain’s Autobiography
“To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times”
“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.”
Originally said by Edgar Wilson Nye
” So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldn’t find honest employment.”
“The finest congress money can buy.”
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
All the more reason to read books carefully in their entirety, and question popular attributions at all times. I think it was Ray Bradbury who said in the future everything will be factoids, we’ll know the dates of Napoleon but not who he was. But, don’t be afraid to check if he really did say that….
Jim was monstrous proud about it, and he got so he wouldn’t hardly notice the other hipsters. Hipsters would come miles to hear Jim tell about it, and he was more looked up to than any hipster in that country. Strange hipsters would stand with their mouths open and look him all over, same as if he was a wonder. Hipsters is always talking about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but whenever one was talking and letting on to know all about such things, Jim would happen in and say, “Hm! What you know ‘bout witches?” and that hipster was corked up and had to take a back seat.
Jim always kept that five-center piece round his neck with a string, and said it was a charm the devil give to him with his own hands, and told him he could cure anybody with it and fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by saying to it; but he never told what it was he said to it. Hipsters would come from all around there and give Jim anything they had, just for a sight of that piece; but they wouldn’t touch it, because the devil had had his hands on it
A classroom-friendly version of Mark Twain’s classic novel, with every occurrence of the N-word replaced by the word “hipster.” Thanks to editor Richard Grayson, the adventures of Huckleberry Finn are now neither offensive nor uncool.
“Thanks to editor Richard Grayson.” Huh.